The Exhaustion Behind Doing It All
As she sits in my salon chair and exhales a sigh of relief, her oldest daughter is occupied with books and toys, and the young one is in the car seat, all content. I washed her hair, cut it, and then styled it the way she loves it as she shared updated news about work, kids, and life. The exhaustion behind doing it all came to the surface with some tears.
There was a feeling of relief that she embraced just from talking to an ADULT. The moment of being around other adults in the same room was rejuvenating. It was so rewarding for her. I gave her all of my attention and listened. There is that moment when you wake up every day and realize you do the same thing over and over again, and realize when it will end?
However, it can also suck the life out of you. How do you find relief? How do you find your sanity?
It is wise to balance your tasks and communicate with the ones you love about what you need in return.
Erin has many titles: wife, mother, sister, and daughter. She has been married for about 5 years, and has 2 beautiful girls and a dog. She faces everyday challenges like anyone else.
She states;
"A major challenge of mine has been finding myself as a mom. It is not an easy adjustment. With your body and hormones being off, and not to mention you have this small little thing totally reliant on you, it's hard. Between late nights, feedings, and lack of sleep in general, it was hard not to get jealous of my husband, who still got to sleep through the night and not be hooked up to a little machine every 2 hrs. We have made it through but it was a real thing. I feel it has made me into a stronger person now, and I try to be open and honest with any new moms who are willing to listen. I feel it's important to know all the goods and not so goods of being a mom because everyone talks about how great it is, but few talk about the challenges it brings."
The Truth No One Talks About
We celebrate becoming a mother.
But we rarely talk about what we lose in the process. It's the truth no one talks about.
Not permanently…
but temporarily.
Your independence.
Your quiet time.
Your sense of control.
Even parts of your identity.
And if you’re being honest…
It can feel disorienting.
But let's be real for a hot minute, you didn’t lose yourself—you’re becoming someone new.
Here’s where everything shifts.
You didn’t disappear.
You didn’t lose your spark.
You didn’t become “less.”
You became more.
More responsible.
More aware.
More emotionally stretched.
More deeply connected.
But growth doesn’t always feel beautiful in the moment. Sometimes it feels like:
confusion
exhaustion
doubt
And that doesn’t make you weak.
It makes you human.
Balancing Two Versions of You
One of the most powerful parts of Erin’s story is how she’s learning to separate and protect different parts of her life. She's balancing two versions of herself.
She shared how she intentionally leaves work at work— so she can show up fully at home for her family.
That’s not just time management. That’s identity protection. Because if you don’t create boundaries, everything blends together… and you get lost in the middle of it.
But what about the guilt that comes with finding yourself again?
Let’s talk about the part that hits the hardest: MOM GUILT!!!
Wanting time for yourself… but feeling bad for needing it.
Wanting space… but worrying you’re missing moments.
Erin said it best—"sometimes even stepping away for a short time feels hard, because your identity becomes so deeply rooted in your children."
But here’s the truth: You are allowed to exist outside of motherhood.
You are still:
a woman.
a dreamer.
a thinker.
a human being with needs.
How To Find Yourself Again
Not all at once. Not perfectly. But intentionally.
Start small:
Take 15 minutes alone (without guilt)
Listen to something that fills your mind (music, podcasts, books)
Step outside your routine—even briefly
Start asking:
What do I enjoy?
What makes me feel like me again?
What do I need right now?
And most importantly:
Give yourself grace in the process.
Because this isn’t about “getting back” to who you were.
It’s about meeting the woman you’re becoming.
A Reminder for the Mom Who Feels Lost
If you’ve been feeling:
overwhelmed
disconnected
unsure of yourself
You are not alone. You are not broken. You are in a season of transformation.
And just like every season… this one is shaping you into something stronger, deeper, and more beautiful than before.
Motherhood doesn’t take your identity. It refines it. And one day, you’ll look back and realize…
You didn’t lose yourself.
You found a version of you that you never knew existed.
